And yet every year we still set resolutions religiously. We spend hours making promises to our souls and to the Lord which we always remember to forget as the year matures! We confidently lie to ourselves that the year unborn will be our year to be different, the one that we will deliver all the promises we made in the previous year that we failed to. That this time round, we will leave behind all the negative forces, pursue all our dreams and have a year of ultimate greatness: born a new. It is like every time the clock chimes midnight at year end, a new life is given to us, a new body and a new soul. We, in the euphoria of the moment, peg our promises and resolutions to clocks. Clocks that are probably ahead of time, clocks that are bound to stop at one point or another, and clocks which read different with varying time zones.
As is my tradition, I am looking at the clock today, like I have done many times before. I am getting exhilarated by the ticking minute hand as it draws closer to midnight. Unlike many years though, I am not tearing up at the count of the many times I have failed miserably in my attempts, for the many eerie moments and iniquitous escapades that I have time and again given in to and the uncountable times I have adamantly refused to learn from my mistakes. Neither am I on the countdown to transformation and rebirth: the year I will be uplifted and forever live to praise HIM for raising me from grass to grace, or the year that I will walk on the dome of royalty and shine bright in every course I lay my hands on. I am not convincing myself that in the coming year, I will loyally be used as an example for all the positive things, be unthought-of for all the negative examples and be in the charts of legendary people whose stories run from one generation to another. No more of wishy-washy and irresolute resolutions. No more of clock based self evaluation.The habit of making plans, of criticizing, sanctioning and molding life will be a daily one.
The phoenix myth suggests that the phoenix, (a mythical bird with brilliant scarlet, gold plumage and made of flames), burns out to ashes towards its last stages in life in immolation. It is from the ashes that the phoenix reincarnates and a new flaming bird is reborn! Mind-boggling? Read on the myth. It applies to us too. We sometimes have to die inside to make both a metaphysical and metaphorical leap forward and to pave way for our new beginnings. Every end marks a brand new beginning, and every beginning is preceded by an end. In the New Year, let every day take us a step closer to getting a clearer picture of who we are, where we are, where we want to be and what we ought to do to get there!
Big little girl | story teller for all seasons | Kenyan |