I miss our chats – about business, about Pinterest, about life and you telling me how I’m the best thing it ever brought your way.
I miss your embrace – the long warm hugs that felt like home. They made me feel safe and like everything was gonna be okay.
I miss our fitness pursuits – 7.05pm walks to the track field, me calling you coach, and us encouraging each other through the planks…the victory high fives after finishing laps and running the incline! You promoting me to be assistant coach in recognition of the progress I was making. Eating lots of veges and minimal starch while patiently looking out for each others abs.
I miss beating you at poker – over and over again. You always calling me for a rematch and never letting me forget of the few times you managed to win a game.
I miss your affirmation – you calling me partner and bestfriend. Staring at me and enumerating for me things that made me beautiful; recounting the moments that I took your breath away.
I miss the music sessions – playing the Hillsong acoustic album repeatedly and putting our favorites off the album on loop. How confident you had become in singing albeit that it was always off key. The YouTube evenings and getting dj privileges to control the playlist.
I miss being yours, your person! The one who knew your fears, insecurities and heart aches. The one you counted on to be your covering. I can never forget the only time I saw you cry. Weep. Your giant frame collapsed into my arms and for a moment you felt so small, so helpless, so utterly vulnerable.
I miss the moments that you surprised me – leaving in the middle of a conversation, disagreement actually, to go get me flowers. How could I stay mad when you came bearing a bouquet of white roses and requesting pardon?
I miss the sleepovers – arguing over who should come over to whoms, being in each others arms and not having to walk away after saying goodnight.
Obviously we walked away and sometimes I miss you.
Sometimes it feels like you and I are unfinished business, sometimes. Hoping that you are missing bits of me in silence too.