Slightly neurotic, I find myself yearning to gain some kind of absolution from you. Itching for a chance to explain my defiance and apologize for the many faults I would have easily escaped by following all your pieces of advice. Tempting as it is to slip in a thing or two into our conversations, I quickly correct myself. Instead, I remind myself all that you have taught me, going through a mental checklist of all the lessons you gave me and the invaluable wisdom and acumen you imparted on me right from birth tirelessly. It might not have cushioned me from the teenage curiosity and rebelliousness, but it sure prepared me to walk through the highs and lows with composure and poise. In the words of August Alsina, “I still remember the lessons you taught me, and it’s now my turn to show you how far they brought me”.
I have you in mind today. The uncountable sacrifices you made to see us all grow in comfort. The numerous times you sat us down to give us a piece of your mind, but with tightened lips and flat faces, we shrugged our shoulders and said we already knew, you had told us enough times already! On a bad day, we asked if you thought we had memory lapses or something because of your recurring efforts to drive the same point home over and over. I am thinking about all the times you spared time to explain to me the need to understand other people and take them for who they were, to appreciate diversity and to love God above all. The times I would come in total despair and you calmed me down, and said that I needed to learn how to surf in stormy seas. The promise that you would always be always there for me in case I needed any help. I am reminiscing of all those moments today Mom, with deep gratitude.
I am nostalgic of my childhood days when I would threaten by you. “Nitakusema kwa Mom”…not that I thought you would involve yourself in the childish fights we had, but I knew if things got to the thick, I had an outright guardian in you. I am enthused by your constant belief that I would make it big in life, and that every dream I dared to profess would come to pass. The assurance that you would constantly be the wind beneath my wings whenever I needed extra strength. Despite all our heated arguments and all the punishments you gave me, I still look up to you as the best gift to humanity, no more to anyone else than myself.
And today, while I can still look to your face, I write this. To say thank you for all that you have been… To remind you that we love you for now, and for always. To pat your back for a job well done in bringing us up. To envy you for being Daddy’s one great love, the one he wanted most and his all time favorite to old age. For being a reasonable referee for all the sibling rivalry bound to come up on one issue or another. You are preeminent of all mothers!
To every mom out there, you are cheerily crossing my mind today. I am silently thanking God for what you do to keep your homes together, and proudly thinking about the exemplary strength you possess. We might not always tell you what you mean to us, but in every breath your child takes, in every conversation about mothers, they all acknowledge that absolutely no one is better than their mother. Wait for Mothers day and count how many ‘My mom is the best’ updates you will see. We all mean it and do not even fight about it. Because in motherhood, everyone is the best.
Big little girl | story teller for all seasons | Kenyan |