Welcome on board, I am more than glad to have you.
I have just finished transferring ALL my posts from the other side. Earlier today I gave myself a ted talk on attachment issues, letting go; and about being open and willing to start all over again. To step out of the comfort zone and start something new…
When I first stepped to the blogosphere, I worried if I would strike my readers as an intelligent enough newbie, worthy enough of the online space, driven enough and with content solid enough to get a community in a world that was crowded with wordsmiths, orators, brilliant writers, professional ranters, love doctors: People who sound better on pen than on voice… I worried if I would find my niche and if I would ever find my voice in a space where I was one in a million, billions possibly. I second guessed myself on so many occasions, put virtual stop signs on uncountable instances and warned myself enough times. I started the journey only certain of my uncertainty. And then one day I came across this brainy quote that ‘great people do things before they are ready. They do things before they know that they can even do it’… So I stepped to the blogging world anyway. I did!
Somewhere in between my uncertainty and my rare moments of confidence, I got my voice, my online community and my stats that cheered me on and once in a while caressed my confidence dexterously. I also got these amazing readers who became my motivation; my favorite comment being ‘Never stop writing Kim’.
Why do I do it, and why do I let myself touch the topics that scare me or make me look bad? Because I know that we are all struggling through life. I always hope that someone will read and realize that someone else knows and understands what they are going through, that they will somehow feel inspired and realize that it’s ok, (these things happen, we’been there done that and we are still alive and kicking). I also hope that I make it clear to them that being broken and faulty is not a crime, it is part and parcel of everyone’s journey. Most importantly, I try to provoke them to engage in the unspoken dialogues that I wish someone engaged us in as young adults. Those conversations that,as a result of not having them earlier in life or even thinking about them, made us burn a finger or two before learning the lesson.
But I wish you all knew how many times I start typing and stop halfway. I have done posts that made me tear because they were too personal, or because they took me back to my own struggles and insecurities. I do not know about the other writers, but I am the type that overthinks. Will I come out as needy and broken? Will I come out as bitter and unrealistic? Do I vent too much, can I tone it down? Do I tone it down? Am I comfortable talking about this? Where do I draw the line between what I can say and what I can’t say? What is the moral of the story?
I still write anyway, I do!
But then, there comes a time when you have to let go and let grow.
This is me taking a leap of faith and starting all over again. Me being daring enough to start here and now with nothing but my clueless self! Kimuyan.com is a mental and emotional wellness spur. The life and relationships spurs at the top left are the ‘must stops’ in your life journey, for the days when you need to treat yourself to mental and emotional therapy. On the special days that you need a bit of rib therapy, the ‘Days in time’ section is your sure stop…
So now, dear readers, here’s unsure beginnings, and hopeful endings. To imperfect scripts and near perfect outcomes. Here’s also to turning the maybes into Yes’s, (thank you Njata), and to letting ourselves start now: ready to improvise our scripts along the way 🙂
Ps. If the idea won’t go away, pursue it! Now!
Big little girl | story teller for all seasons | Kenyan |