It occurred to me that in marriage, there were laws beneath that had passed unnoticed; and laws that would never have made sense (in theory) because we have to live through them to comprehend…Here’s to both.
The little law of flight landing
This little law states that you can never land so smoothly that you do not notice the change.
And change comes in many ways and with special demands. Some effortless-like shifting from I to We or Mine to ours in conversations. Some a little too much to ask of an adult but nonetheless necessary. Like learning how to shift the conversation from ‘I am doing this’ to ‘I was thinking of doing a,b,c,d; what are your thoughts about it’. And when you expect a ‘Brilliant! Great idea, go forth and conquer’ response, you will likely receive a cut no. And you sit there in utter shock wondering how long you should wait before telling them that on the contrary, you were actually just telling them what you are going to do, not asking them for permission to do it. (as they seem to have interpreted for themselves)
This little law is here to remind you that you will, and in fact must, experience teethinglotiosis (scientific name for teething problems in marriage).
Once in a while, you will call the committee in your head for a quick yoga session to keep calm because you have some serious negotiation with bae that you cannot afford to lose. And in due time, you realize that different strokes work for different battles. Some will be won by using words only, some by acts of kindness, some by summoning tears for nothing 😂. And at the end of it all, some battles will be won and some will be lost.
Teething problems version 2 are as a result of getting into a new family; a prospect that is as exciting as is arduous- worrying even. More for women than it is for men. We worry about how long it will take us to adapt and learn the new rules without losing ourselves, worry about matching the expectations and being a courteous enough, hardworking enough and likeable enough addition. Sons of Abraham on the other hand are forever under the pressure of being a worthy mate and offering the most. (because just enough is not enough she said )(more…)